Ash Wednesday is tomorrow and starts the 2014 Lenten season of the church. Lent has always been a special time for me, a time to reflect and prepare to be forgiven and washed anew in love and faith. This year, repentance has been requested more than usual as I think past wrongs have all come to light in my soul this past year. While I try to live life without regrets, we all make mistakes, Unfortunately, those who try to help others often make mistakes that hurt others. But I ask forgiveness, accept God's love, and try to find a lesson or the good that can come from those mistakes.
This last few weeks I have been trying to figure out what to give up for Lent. I usually try to give up something significant like spite, or complaining, or fear....things that truly can make a difference in my life. Up until today I couldn't really think of anything I could give up, or add, that was really significant in where I was in life at this moment. While my faith has never been shaken, this last year has brought me a lot of lessons that have made me question the path God has put me on and whether I made a wrong turn somewhere and didn't realize it.
So as I ate my pancakes tonight and looked at the flowers in my office, I knew I had to make a decision, what was I going to change this year for Lent that could change my life or my faith significantly. And it came to me...Prayer.
Now, I pray a lot. I pray for others, for their well being, for the health of the church, my family, and loved ones. I pray for government to be discerning with decisions they make for the world, I pray for end to fighting and conflict and that lives will be spared. I pray for thanksgiving and for all the joyous and marvelous miracles God allows me to see every day and be witness to. I pray for grace and discernment in my life to make better choices, to help others without harming them, and to do the work that I feel God has set me to task. But there is something I rarely, if ever, have prayed for, and that is myself. I have asked for safety and the ability to use the gifts God has given me to take care of my children, my friends, and to try to leave the world a little bit better than when I entered it. But I do not pray for me. Now, I have prayed that that car speeding doesn't hit me, or that the drunk walking down the road doesn't step in front of my car or that the tests I had done come back negative. But I don't ask for me to be healed. I have asked for people to be brought into my life to help guide me or to fulfill a need, but I realized today looking at those flowers that I already have that. I have God. I really don't need anyone else. But what I do need is to heal from the past hurts, especially the ones I have caused myself.
So for Lent this year, I will be praying for peace for my own soul. For the grace of God to touch my heart and free it from my own shackles that keep me bound to paying the price for my past and the mistakes I and others have made that affected my life.
I hope that in this season of Lent, you too will find something meaningful to add to your life. And that it stays long past the joyous day of Easter we are all preparing for.
This last few weeks I have been trying to figure out what to give up for Lent. I usually try to give up something significant like spite, or complaining, or fear....things that truly can make a difference in my life. Up until today I couldn't really think of anything I could give up, or add, that was really significant in where I was in life at this moment. While my faith has never been shaken, this last year has brought me a lot of lessons that have made me question the path God has put me on and whether I made a wrong turn somewhere and didn't realize it.
So as I ate my pancakes tonight and looked at the flowers in my office, I knew I had to make a decision, what was I going to change this year for Lent that could change my life or my faith significantly. And it came to me...Prayer.
Now, I pray a lot. I pray for others, for their well being, for the health of the church, my family, and loved ones. I pray for government to be discerning with decisions they make for the world, I pray for end to fighting and conflict and that lives will be spared. I pray for thanksgiving and for all the joyous and marvelous miracles God allows me to see every day and be witness to. I pray for grace and discernment in my life to make better choices, to help others without harming them, and to do the work that I feel God has set me to task. But there is something I rarely, if ever, have prayed for, and that is myself. I have asked for safety and the ability to use the gifts God has given me to take care of my children, my friends, and to try to leave the world a little bit better than when I entered it. But I do not pray for me. Now, I have prayed that that car speeding doesn't hit me, or that the drunk walking down the road doesn't step in front of my car or that the tests I had done come back negative. But I don't ask for me to be healed. I have asked for people to be brought into my life to help guide me or to fulfill a need, but I realized today looking at those flowers that I already have that. I have God. I really don't need anyone else. But what I do need is to heal from the past hurts, especially the ones I have caused myself.
So for Lent this year, I will be praying for peace for my own soul. For the grace of God to touch my heart and free it from my own shackles that keep me bound to paying the price for my past and the mistakes I and others have made that affected my life.
I hope that in this season of Lent, you too will find something meaningful to add to your life. And that it stays long past the joyous day of Easter we are all preparing for.